The Story of Us- the Proposal!

I had ceased anticipating and just about asked for my ring back. It had been 3 months. What was the deal? He wasn’t acting like anything was wrong and he still like to kiss.

You’d think he’d want to make it obvious we were together, since I had entered the college scene the guy choices were much larger. I knew there were more fish in the sea outside of Stephens County! A couple in particular weren’t deterred by the amount of time Cody and I spent together and pursued a lot. Even giving me a list of reasons to leave Cody. While mostly in jest, I did have to compare him to each new person I met. Would so and so make a better husband? Cody won out every time. 

He was probably waiting for Christmas. 

He’d threatened to do it at church in front of lots of people. Um, no, thanks for the warning. And, no.

My first semester of college was finished, I’d gotten straight A’s- finished 16 hours- I was on my way. Now if I could just get my ring back. 

We had brought in a new staff member to help with young adults there at our church. The church would vote in support of the leadership’s decision and then we had a little party planned at our house afterward. With snow on the ground that Dec. 21st night it we enjoyed the party and new friends. As usually Cody waited unitl everyone else left. We didn’t need an audience when we kissed goodnight, (and we liked to take our time- there was much to be said each night :)

I slipped on a light jacket and walked him out to his car. He was very slow, normally he was all on top of things. And he was quiet. Way too quiet for Cody Deevers. After the first 15 min. of very little talking or kissing I knew something was different, something was wrong. 

Was he going to ask me tonight? Really? Here? What am I wearing? Does my breath stink? How do I look? This could be it. IT! 

“Not much to say tonight?”

Smile. 

“ Something wrong?”

Nods no. 

“You are not saying much” 

Shrugs 

“Ok” 

Well then kiss me :)

We went on for what seemed hours. We had another 2 conversations just like that one when he FINALLY said something. 

“ Do you know where we are? “ 

My front yard, yes, pretty sure.

“It’s where we had our first kiss a year ago.” 

“It is isn’t it” I replied. Smile. This has got to be it. Where’s that ring?

Stall another awkward 10 min, head down, smiling, no words. 

Then in a slowness I had not known Cody possessed and have not seen since he uttered these words...

“ Lori, I love you, would you do my the honor of being my wife?”

Cue ring. No knee bending though- too much snow?

“Yes” hug, “Oh YES!” 

I slipped on the ring, and he went home. I don’t know what he thought that night before closing his eyes in sleep but I practiced saying my new name cause hot dog I was getting married! 

The next day, just a few before Christmas, I went up to the church Cody and my dad were working at for something. Juanita Brown was answering calls that morning and was the first to notice the ring. My mom was with me and was shocked- letting out her notorious laugh. My brother’s would be there soon for Christmas- what would they say? Jon and his girlfriend weren’t married yet and Chris had just had his heart broken. Jon was in and out in no more than 3 days. Chris stayed longer. This would be hard. 

Cause he’d risked it all for love too, and lost- big time.

Welcome Blog Hoppers!

For friends and family this is a pause in my "Our Story" marathon. I almost have a ring ....can you believe it ?

Blog Hoppers...I started a love story and will finish it this week, simply click my old high school purple back pack on the side that says "The Story of Us" or the link at top, both will get you to one page of the whole story.

This is simply an intro to the blog for Blog Hop '10 (forgive me for no link there, I can't figure out how to copy past with links on my new mac)

My blog is categorized by the bags I and those I love carry. I am a private music instructor and have a link on the side to that site. And we also have a lego site showing all things legos in our lives... if you are into that click here. 

I'm an Oklahoman by choice, Texan by birth, with a childhood spent growing up under pine trees in NC. I write about raising 3 kids under ten, our crazy extended family, the people we know and life and love in a parsonage... 

The story of us: a ring?

Grandma Marie. (How I miss her)  She was the reason Cody and I went to Oklahoma City on one of our first dates. He was to pick her up at the airport. Only he'd never gone to the airport. He was unaware of the "one way ness" of the airport. It made me laugh. I'll never forget my first sight of grandma Marie waiting patiently for her grandson after he'd circled round and round the terminal. He always could make me laugh. 

Cody's grandmother had married her next door neighbor in February. Leaving his home vacant. 

Since we were in school and poor this was just what we were looking for. It needed a lot of work and he agreed to $100 rent. Something we could afford! We weren’t into debt so it all had to work out if we were really going to get married.I guess we figured  we'd just "live on love". Ha! If only you could.

After I knew he was serious and I told him about the ring I wanted, figured he should know what I wanted in case he wanted to make this official and all. 

The ring was my mother’s. She had gotten something on it from her mother. She hadn’t worn it in years. The diamond had fallen out and in the midst of raising 4 kids, attending too many ballgames and started a new church alongside my dad they hadn’t ever repaired it. 

As a little girl I love’d sitting in her vanity area and looking through the jewelry. I remember the box exactly. I’d always admired that ring. 

I asked (more like took probably) if I could give it to Cody, I’d like that to be my ring. 

So one day at the house I gave it to him in September. Gee, to know what went through his mind....

So I gave him 10 days to fix the ring and waited anxiously for the proposal of a lifetime! 

The Story of Us: the ring of fire part 2

The taste of love is sweet. 

When hearts, like ours meet. 

I fell for you like a child. 

Oh but the fire went wild. 

Thank you Johnny Cash, the philosopher. I couldn’t have said it better myself!

I was aware of Johnny’s “ ring of fire” and knew if I jumped in I wouldn’t come out unburned. It was enough to keep me saying no.

 I needed to tell my parents. I hadn’t gotten up the nerve to do it. To this day I wonder what they thought? I know they were young once, too, but it’s all together different when it’s your 17 year old daughter talking to you on a couch in Red River, NM about getting married.

“Dad?”

“Yes” 

He had knelt beside the couch I was sleeping on. With the all very familiar scope breath he’d prayed for me as he’d done a thousand times before since the day I was born. 

“Ummm, Cody and I really like each other and have kinda talked about getting married...”

Just like I assumed he’d do, he remained calm, collected his thoughts and responded, “ Well, (pause)  Cody is a wonderful young man. I always hoped one of my sons would become a preacher, I guess a son in law would be just fine.” 

And I really don’t remember the rest of the conversation. He prayed we'd know and follow God's will for our relationship. 

He knew. They knew. So they both knew he wasn’t going anywhere. And they hadn’t told me to wait, given me any warnings or even looked concerned. I needed a sign. A stop sign if this was not good. My parents were always ones to let you make your own mistakes. I am a people pleaser and don't like to make mistakes. I never wanted to regret. So I weighed every decision a thousand times. It's exhausting.

Maybe Cody's family would give me a sign...His Aunt Vivian (the great gardener and cooker of rabbit) had been in the family for years and she didn't pull me aside telling me to run for my life. But I prayed everyday if this wasn't meant to be that I'd know and have the courage to do the right thing even if my heart was in too deep.


I got a good sign from Cody when I got back. We went the entire vacation week without talking on the phone. No cell phones- calling cards were what I had to use. He was playing volleyball at the Wilkins home so I went over there to join the group and of course see him. When he saw me he said, "Time Out" ran over in Deever fashion grabbed me up, kissed me and ran back to position on the court. Smile. I think he likes me. Maybe he wants to keep me.

August meant back to school in Oklahoma.   

Cody and I had never been together a whole lot. He split his time between school and work and me. Now we were working together at the youth center with all those kids and going to school together.  We were about to spend a lot more time together. 

One of two things was bound to happen. One, we’d get tired of each other and realize this wasn’t gonna work or two, the flame’d get hotter.

The Story of us: The Ring of Fire

Heart out on the line. 

Risking a lot for someone I’d been dating less than 9 months. 

Love is funny like that. Somehow not much else matters when you are lost in each others arms. But we had yet to talk about a lifetime. We were getting closer. People were talking. I had finally graduated high school. Wahoo! And there was that whole ring thing. Big misunderstanding, I do not know what came over me.

June came and went, July melted into August and it was time to go back to school. The youth center was an after school program now. While Cody ran it, several of us helped when we could. Cody had a pretty easy semester at USAO, taking in a lot of history classes. 

I on the other hand was ready for the brain-washing to begin. I knew my faith would be tested. Individuals in Contemporary Society here I came! 

I still didn’t have a clue what I wanted to study. I just wanted to get in and out and on with life. Life with Cody. 

The first of August my parents took my sister and I out to New Mexico on a vacation. With little more on the agenda than eating and family time,  My sister and I took off on foot or car every day exploring Red River. I had brought my borrowed guitar on the trip. I needed pictures for my upcoming cd I was dreaming about recording so Debbie took no less than 24 pictures of me and that guitar on every trail, rock and creek we could find. This was when film limited how many pictures we could take otherwise we’d have taken 100. While I had thought I’d heard God telling me I wasn’t made to be a soloist and that the spotlight wouldn’t be mine- my heart still tried to go a different route. 

I sat in choir the first week of college as an undecided student. Hum....

English Education

Vocal Performance

Music Education

That’s what I’d narrowed it down to. Music Ed. took 30 extra hours. 30. That’s an entire year longer than the other 2. 

Just like when I stepped into that Ryder truck headed to Oklahoma, leaving all I’d known behind and just like when I kept talking to a want-a -be preacher boy with a twangy accent - Someone was nudging me in the way he wanted me to go. The way he’d created me to go.    And through the advice of some good counselors I changed my schedule, added some classes and gave in to what I knew I was supposed to do- Music Education. 

Weeks before in our condo in Red River, NM I finally had the conversation with my parents I had been dreading all summer. 

Cody wasn’t going anywhere. He and I had talked about getting married. But I was about to turn 18, hardly old enough for that kind of commitment. I had 2 older brothers in their mid 20‘s who weren’t even married. What would dad say to this? Mom never forced her opinion on me, I really didn’t know where she stood and I knew she would give advice if I asked. Dad would be the one to ask, what would say, did he know? Would he want me to wait? I wasn’t sure waiting was option. I’d been raised listening to the music of Johnny Cash and I finally figured out what that “ring of fire” song was talking about- and we were about to fall. 

The Story of Us: Love = Risk

Rabbit. 

They had cooked thumper. 

And it tasted like chicken. 

I was a traveler. Raised in a family that embraced other ethnicities, cultures and people. I thought of my journey to Oklahoma as a short term mission trip. Get in, get out- do what you can. I never planned on staying. 

Trying rabbit, albeit not by choice, at Cody's Uncle Bob's was just a new experience, right? When in Rome do as the Romans.....Surely not all family gatherings included Bambi's little friend?

It was increasing desire to be with Cody that was throwing me for a loop. The closer we got the more it looked like I wasn’t getting out of Oklahoma anytime soon. And rabbit might become a staple. 

Aunt Vivian was a wonderful cook actually. I loved all the homegrown veggies and homemade ice cream. Remember I was a Laura Ingalls Wilder fan?

We eventually drove off those mountains of Sand Springs and headed back to SW OK . 

The summer was filled with camps and trips with our church. Cody even took the invite to the Southern Baptist Convention in Atlanta with my dad. He came back with stories. Hard not to traveling with my dad. 

As soon as he returned we had a service dedicating the David Baker Youth Center- Cody’s new ministry job. The center was opened everyday for kids to come play, hang out, get snacks and learn more about Jesus Christ. The service was nice. David’s family  was honored and a plaque made. I sang and Cody spoke. 

And the kids came. Those kids were hilarious. I have more stories than I have time to tell. We created the “Good Gang”. When the kids memorized the 10 commandments they got in the “Good Gang” , complete with a t-shirt. We had adults and teenagers joining as well as kids as young as 4. 

A man willing to invest in others, especially children is very attractive. While our days were spent playing pool, ping pong and laughing with kids our nights were spent watching the Rangers baseball, renting movies, or hanging out with friends and family. And saying goodnight. We could really drag that good night kiss out. And night after night it was getting harder and harder. 

My oldest brother came for a visit for several weeks in June. He was living back east. We enjoyed the time together, he and Cody got to know each better. When he went home his fiance left him. Ran off with someone else. We hurt for him. He threw the ring in the forest. 

Love is risky. The deeper you get in, the more it hurts when it ends. The question is when does it end? I have heard it said, “All good things come to an end eventually” This side of heaven that is. While I am all about Jesus I have to admit the initial draw for me was “Happily ever after”. Eternal good times.

So either you split apart here on earth or you love your whole life long and are torn apart by death in the end. But either way it hurts. And it was risky. Too risky? 


Strangely, you don't think about risks when your kissing goodnight at 17, falling more and more in love everyday.

anniversary gift & our story marathon....

Tuesday August 3rd marks my 14 wedding anniversary. 14 years have come and gone. While at camp, again, I wrote a lot on my anniversary gift.

When I walked in from Ft. Worth and visiting my brother I saw this.....

one all my stuff was gone. I believe my words were, "What have you done?"

Had I known it was mine I would've shouted. But I didn't know what to think till I saw this...

And I knew Mr. Incredible had outdone himself.  I am very excited and grateful. I needed a computer but this is a huge blessing! So Seattle will have to wait till next year (hopefully).

I recently talked with a young woman, eager and excited about starting a life in the ministry.

Here's what I've learned in 15 years (we were in a year before we married) that I wish I could tell her but won't. It's an adventure you live, you can't navigate it like you want. And while some similarities exist, you'll have your own story one day.

You may end up in a 12 by 12 one room apartment with IKea nowhere around with 4 kids everyday. You may have to send him off for a year to minister to our military not knowing when or if you'll see him. You may move to itty bitty towns with no stores far from STarbucks. You may have to care for children that smell, or clean up puke, or clean toilets when your trained to sing arias, write novels or teach college Bible classes. You may cry yourself to sleep worrying why he won't talk anymore when he  used to be open, honest, and real. You may ride side saddle on a motorcycle with your family of 5 all with you maneuvering between many moving vehicles. You may wish many times for the King of Kings to come and take over.

Hopefully you'll have the armor of a knight, the courage of a king, the grace of a queen and the hope of a princess. (Cooking, hospitality and piano playing aren't bad ideas either) May you have good friends to encourage you and sense to praise Jesus in the midst of a storm and pain. May you have treasures money can't buy, watermelons at your door and friends at your table. May your knees be worn from kneeling in prayer and your Bible marked through and through.

As a new blog I found put it....ministry is "oh so fabulous" 

To celebrate the journey and where it's taken us, I'll write with a tender heart this week....the final 8 chapters of "Our Story"