My Darlings...and their lunch totes

This is the girl's lunch tote- cute, darling, totally representative of her (if only it talked loudly)


and I have a boy- plain as it gets boy- and this tote also represents him in all his easy going simple being. T-shirt and jeans, hoodie in the winter, same ones every day if I'd let him.

I couldn't keep up with him as a toddler (partly because I was pregnant by the time he could walk). Then he was 2 giving me kisses and then 4 bringing me flowers and the he was 5 walking like his daddy and then he was 7 leaving behind the trains for more complex engineering- legos and then he was 8 talking like his daddy :) And now he's 9 and I don't know if I can say goodbye to his first decade.

Excuse me while I dry my eyes...

Ok, I know God has plans and I know they are good, and I would never want to stand in the way but this is rough and while I could list many reasons why there is only one I want to talk about...

The fact that it's over for me and boys, he has his dad and I am merely a source of food (don't get me wrong we have our hiking and late night talks, I'm not checking out by any means).I feel my future will be the perpetual begging for pink highlights and crying fits over what earrings to wear with which outfits. I have lived my life believing Philippians 4:13 but this seems big and vast and scary -this pink future.

Had I not put 6 years between the ages of my girls this future may not have been so vast, we could've plowed through, learned as we go but as it looks- it looks long, real long, twice as long.

My older daughter got a new fashion doll for Christmas, from a new line called Moxie Girlz- be true be you! I think I needed one- maybe I could throw it out there when I need a little courage to face the unknown world of sleepovers, makeup & fashion, & friendship drama. I was a girl, I know but I have never raised one. And from all accounts I was an easy one to raise...

I set out to write about what a lousy lunch maker I am...I know with all this cooking I'm doing you would've thought I am a pro but no. I am surprised no one from the school has called and asked why I haven't sent a sandwich with my son to school in 5 years? He doesn't eat them, he doesn't eat much of anything and I refuse to waste. (Go green) But these bags represent so much more to me- they represent the little hands , (ok we've moved on to medium hands at this age) that carry them to school and the unique personalities beyond those hands and how extremely daunting the task is to nurture those personalities. So I leave you with this...

Fuel for the future....

I love Joshua 1:9 but I can't leave out v. 8

"Study this book of the Law continually. Meditate on it day and night so you may be sure to obey all that is written in it. Only then will you succeed. I command you- be strong and courageous! (be a moxie girl)Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (even into the vast pink future)"

Thanks for reading, I just needed to get that out.