As the week progressed we made our rounds seeing my favorite people and places and eating at all the restaurants Raleigh had to offer.
I missed Cody. He was skiing in Flagstaff, viewing the Grand Canyon and playing poker on a hand held game thing. His aunt was elated he'd come to see them. She had been so sweet and encouraging about our engagement.
The time apart was good. Once that ring was on my finger things changed a little. The 8 month engagement was definitely needed. We had decided to get married. There were choices to be made, a house to fix up and we were learning we didn't see eye to eye on some things.There were plenty of conversations about how we couldn't wait to live together and be married and how wonderful it would be to fix dinner and fold laundry together. He told me several times how glad he was I had said yes.
There were also some good fights too. Plenty of selfishness to go around. Living together wouldn't be as easy as I'd imagined. There would be differences of opinion. And I was learning very quickly men DO NOT think like women do. They are geared altogether differently. What I know now is that it was meant to be that way. And when it's good, it's real good but when we are selfish it gets bad and quick.
He was gracious enough to even warn me...
"It's gonna take all the patience you have" this came with an apology after an argument.
We always worked through it, he was after all getting a degree in Communication. :)
Coupled with "working it out" was the doubt. Not so much over marring Cody as it was in doing the wrong thing and having to live with that choice. " Till death do us part" ....I trusted God enough to know if he wanted us together he'd take care of whatever problems we'd encounter down the road. I just had to make sure "US" was his plan not merely mine.
The problem with "my plan" was that it is shaky ground. My plans change. My heart deceives me. And I was about to prove again how silly I can be. I had a past flame, a friend, a confident that I always held dear.
Someone I'd give a second chance to.
I had to know if there was anything still there. I had after all been jerked out of state 3 years before during the middle of a relationship. But this wasn't him, he'd moved on and I was happy for him. This was the first guy who made it hard to concentrate when he walked in the room.
We found some time , just the two of us, in the car driving to eat out with the large group.
"So you are really engaged? What's he like?"
"Yup.....You'd like him, he's a great guy"
"What kinda car does he drive?"
" Does that matter? Why does that matter? Are you for real? Eh, you are a male too...."
"A green pickup" The only thing Oklahoma boys drive.
"So you are really gonna do this?"
"Yes" Whoa, is he gonna try to talk me out of this? No one has done that! "How's your girlfriend?"
"We are good. ....blah blah blah blah blah blah blah....."
I wanted to go home.
"It's so weird seeing you again." He said.
"Why didn't you write or call? I like hearing from you"
"I guess it's like you are not a part of my life anymore"
I was waiting for words that wouldn't be said.
Our lives were on two different tracks headed in two different directions and that was what I needed to know.
Spring became summer and I doubted a little less cause I had found someone, someone who wanted the privilege of spending the rest of his life with me. God had given us a gift. The gift of each other and time.
We attended the showers and fixed the house. Between the camps and other ministry activities we stayed busy. At night we'd count the days till we wouldn't have to say goodnight and leave each other's embrace.
Things were quickly coming together for a beautiful navy, gold and red wedding the first weekend in August.
No comments:
Post a Comment