Thursday, March 10, 2011

The walk you shouldn't have to take

Awaken to a new day beside the love of my life.  Whispered prayers of gratitude.

Breakfast and lunches made, see you later and instructions, the drop off of school kids...

I Had a Heavy heart for this day held a funeral. 

A goodbye. 

The living mourning the dead. 

A realm beyond our reach. 

A walk no mother should ever have to take. 

Psalm 34:18
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted

Exercise. Movement. Praise. Hands lifted in hopes of His kingdom come. Shower & clothes...

What do you wear to bury a baby? 

There are colors you don't wear and in the end black was all that seemed appropriate. 

A short, quiet drive alone to a new cemetery. Monuments of grey with dashes of bright colors adorn this resting ground. 

Sorrow & resign. 

Hands crossed shielding the cool breeze, a multitude of cars and people. Sounds of a young toddler crying. A lone walk to the place. 

A gathering of friends and family. Forced smiles and tears. Teachers, coaches, the young, the old...the other mothers....those who knew this degree of loss, this walk a mother shouldn't have to take.

Words Spoken from the Bible. Prayer....

New green weeds peeking out beneath brown grass- the dead and the emerging...a cycle, hope that that which dies will resurrect in time. Spring is coming. Resurrection is coming. 

And that is why it hurts so bad. This walk on earth's soil. We were meant for eternity. It has been placed in our hearts. That's why funerals are avoid and death is not mentioned. Why our tears flow and the hurt runs so deep. It wasn't supposed to be this way. 

Genesis 2:16
And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.”

But they believed the liar's lie. Death came. And as death came, Jesus' fate was sealed, a way must be made for life....

Romans 6:23
 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Tears rolling down my face I look to my neighbors....we cheer on our Comets, we fight the fires, we help rebuild, we wave when we pass....what a comfort to know you are not alone. 

Revelation 14:13 
Then I heard a voice from heaven say, “Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.”

How can such sorrow know blessing? How can such pain ever heal? How can one ever quit crying? Who knows the plan? 

Isaiah 65:20 

No longer will babies die when only a few days old. 

"Come ye sinners, weak and wounded...In the arms of our dear savior, oh there are 10,000 charms...."

Charms? Remembrances....Every tear, every pain, every hurt...

Isaiah 53:3
He was despised and rejected by mankind,
   a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
   he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

 4 Surely he took up our pain
   and bore our suffering

In him there is life, in him there is healing. IN HIM.

Luke 11:35-36

Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

I have not walked this bitter road. But the Holy Spirit within me has and perhaps that is why I feel it so deep. He mourned because he loved. I cry because I love. 

"Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" 
- Alfred Tennyson 

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