Sunday, April 22, 2012

Falling in Love Again

" The rhythm of relationship; gathering....going.....gathering....going "

On occasion our hearts break rhythm. Usually in the gathering. We must learn to gather well.

"Do two walk together unless they are agreed?" says Amos 3:2.

I agreed to walk with another by the snow covered oak tree several years ago .

But sometimes it's nice to dance rather than walk....

I have learned to fall in love again. I choose to.

I am grateful for the things that move me in that direction. Songs. Movies. Stories. Real People.

We dated this weekend. We are learning to date well. With a little help from some online sources.

Love is a choice, I read it here.

But not till this weekend did it click. I made a promise. So did HE.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous; don’t be terrified or afraid of them. For it is the LORD your God who goes with you; He will not leave you or forsake you.”

I keep mine because God keeps his. Always.

1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

The quiet

I awoke to nothing. Yet to many possibilities....

No little feet stepping toward my bed.

No cabinet doors opening, the independent ones looking for morning foder.

No showers going, no coffee brewing, no voices, no questions, no movement.

The children on holiday with cousins.

God bless Aunt Mandy. My soul needed this. This quiet. This morning of mine.

I wouldn't trade those crazy kids, the chaos or even the arguments. But one morning!

Rest. You need it. Of all the disciplines it is most divine. Schedule it if you have to.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

I love Jesus more

I fasted for lent this year. First time. I was raised in grace, lent wasn't something we did. Fasting yes, but lent no. Dad fasts quite a bit. I used to fast when I wanted to lose weight. (and I wondered why it never worked?)

It was confirmed several times. So I made the Easter, or the end of lent, or passover, I was slightly confused. Thank goodness for google.

Born a gentile. Raised under grace. Lots of grace. I love the grace. Named a kid after the grace.

Thank goodness for the grace, tried to lead the Wed. night girls through the Seder/Passover Service. I will not disclose the animal name in which the bone came from. I am no professional at this. As Katie said 2 weeks ago while talking our way through Deuteronomy, "I would've been stoned by now". Grace is a beautiful thing.  I am studier of the law not a slave.

So lent. A time of fasting from something. What do I love? Coffee.

But I love Jesus more. 

So coffee it was.

First week was rough. But I love Jesus more. I wanted to want him more than coffee.

I have lived the truth...anything we can't hold to loosely we make the idol....anything we can't live without.....something we hide when he comes asking for it's surrender.....

So I would smell it, enjoy the fact that others were enjoying it, linger on the coffee aisle in the store, stock pile for when I could enjoy it again.

That's what I've learned. Rarely does God want to deny us good things forever, he just wants us to want him more.

Every time I'd think, "man, coffee would be excellent right now", I'd thank God for his sacrifice of Jesus, thank him for speaking to me, thank him for helping me SEE things. I'd thank him for making all things new, for hope, for healing. You get the idea...the desire for the thing prompted me to thank God.

So again I google...End of lent.....turns out it's not a set thing.

I wanted ceremony for the end.....

A Sunrise Easter Service....just me and God. A throw back to my childhood at Open Door Bible Fellowship.

That's me sitting on the front row with that fur draped over me. I was 8. Fake fur was in. We were building a building. I grew up under those pine trees in the back. They are gone now and so is childhood. For better or for worse.

I google sunrise times. 6:29am

It was really dark at 6:29am, usually it's a little lighter before sunrise.

Google again...Central time sunrise...

Ah that's better. 7:29am

Babies asleep, husband gone, I must stay near by. The backyard will do.

I read, I pray...

For the nations. (Countries of the World, do index for an alphabetical list)

For the lost.

For my friend, I've learned got "make-ya-mad" news last night.

For my babies who need a momma to be momma not superhero.

There it is. The Heaven's declare....

I never get over the sheer beauty of the sun. Faithfully rising everyday. A reminder, HE doesn't forget. And neither should I , HE is coming back one day.

I remember the grace. I taste sweetness on my lips. He is good. He is God and I am not. He is worth the wait. He is worth anything I must give up. I love Jesus more.


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Easy come, easy go

She should be landing soon. Learning to walk on Asian soil. Not for a week but a year.

You know me and the bag thing....

These are full of calendars and markers and deflated soccer balls, games and gifts. All for 11 children on the other side of the world.

We had to walk over and say goodbye to her. 
We've watched her come and go across the street for 9 years.

Couldn't help but notice this on the car. Pretty good motto. 
It's what it's all about. 

Sara and her family about to leave for the airport.

I don't think I've ever seen Sara happier. The year will no doubt hold many challenges and HIS grace will be enough for every challenge but she's right where she is designed to be..

And so am I, regardless of what little lies I give thinking time to, God has me right where he wants me,  totebags and all. When it's time to do something different he'll inform me. Until then I'll keep trusting his plan and being a missionary right here praying for my friend on the other side of the world.

Follow Sara at

Do your self a favor and read this asap...

Good stuff. Have I said that I LOVE a good true story?

One powerful meal

Tomorrow night I will celebrate the passover seder meal with the wed. night girls. We'll remember the last supper Jesus had with his friends and the promise that he will drink that fourth cup with us again at the marriage supper of the Lamb.

But last night I ate with old friends. It was so nice.

I fixed chicken fried steak for the adults and steak bites for the kiddos. Corn and asparagus, a fresh citrus salad, gravy and buiscuits and my husband's mother's recipe for green stuff (a cool whip/cottage cheese/lime jello/pineapple thing). Complete with 3 different kinds of desserts. It was good.

I left the dishes for the time with our friends. Dishes will always be with me. They will not.

The conversations were wonderful. Only coffee would've made it sweeter, but I am fasting from that.

(My stash patiently waiting, ready for Sunday, I am assuming that's the end of lenten)

It was a night when you left you felt satisfied from physical hunger and soul hunger. When you were glad you were alive. When you have faith in God redeeming humankind.

Those dishes they didn't take too long...

The encouragement from the evening will last much longer.

It is why I cook. It is why I serve the food. That souls may learn of love. That hearts leave full.
It will be my life long mission- set the table, bring the food, & watch God show up!

Monday, April 2, 2012

The bags of my life....

This little bag goes with me everywhere these days....

I have begun invisiline. While painful the first week I have gotten good at taking them out. I brush and floss every time I eat. It's a great preventative against snacking between meals. Too much work!

And here is the only picture I'll ever post without my invisiline (which have a "ponic" in them for my missing tooth) Try not to laugh, I dare ya...

We were missing the same tooth, her's is nearly back in. She keeps hoping mine will come in. It's funny how this whole crazy no tooth experience has connected me with all the kids...they don't care all their friends are missing teeth. Another reason I love kids.

Spring break cleaning leads to blessing others with Charis' outgrown clothes.

A student brought this one in today....

I love it! 

Me and the wed night small group girlies are reading through the Bible this year, we finished Joshua last week, so many good life verses in Joshua. We link one word with each book, for me Joshua got the word, "enjoy". 

But it really sums up what God's been doing in my life. Showing me he is where ever I am. In the hard, the mundane, the good, the exciting, the silly and even the sad. The "with me" God. 

I am counting the gifts. Gratitude in all things. 
It's where I see God.