Thursday, March 29, 2012

Saying Hello and Goodbye

"Guess what? First child due in Sept, " The message said. I am happy.

A photograph of a girl from long ago grown up before us now on facebook displaying her proud bump.

Another picture, the cake says "cut to find out what the baby will be" , Blue cake and proud papa's and daddy's smiling wide. Finally a boy!

A picture via text of a mom with her newborn. Home from the hospital with a child not of her blood. Faith made sight. A name is given and praise goes out to the Creator of all life. My heart feels like it's gonna explode. A mother recovering at home after abdomen cut, with arms empty.

Mothers in prayer for their kids. Tears for the hard, hands for help. Scripture for life. Friendship for the journey.

A hug from a student, moving to Texas. Last lesson.

Prayer for our neighbor. Ready to spread wings and fly to Nepal. Called to serve away from us.

I finally see Michael's Goodbye on the Office from last year.

That was my day.

Tears following a phone call. He died during the night. Oh how my friend loved her daddy. No more conversations, no more trips to grandpa's, no more Christmas' or dinners out. An abrupt end. I hurt for my friend.

Three new princess for my friend's home. Sisters together after months apart. Caring for the least of these. Pictures of fairytale plays and dancing to the praise music. God is good.

I try and hide tears during a lesson." I have to work and let some things go. I don't know how to tell you. " says the boy becoming man. We had a date every week for 7 years to make music, how could I not tear up at the end? I have taught and loved and pushed and watched and applauded....and I must say goodbye ?

I hold a hand of another mother as she tears up, waves of grief from the loss of a mother. There are no answers only childlike faith from long blond haired girls that seem to know nana's ok in heaven with all those who have died before.

That was my week,  so far....

We are always saying hello and goodbye. People come, people go. This is life. Yet the realization brings no less hurt.

I have to come to believe loving means letting go.

To love your child is said to be like having your heart pulled out of you and walking around, and eventually walking away. As soon as we are born we are destined to die. It is fact. The time between, that's our lives. The people we love along the way are gifts. But we will at some point have to let them go.

Loving means letting them grow up.

Loving means trusting God when fears rise and they are half a world away.

Loving means letting them leave this world.

We are still called to love. Hurting is just part of the process.

Tis better to have loved and lost that to have never loved at all.
- Lord Alfred Tennyson

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