Sunday, October 30, 2011

How do you worship in rest?

How do you worship in rest? 

Especially in an "open 24/7" culture.  

And with three kids and work and duty....

This week has been spent planning and buying and cooking for Charis' 4th birthday.
A sweet celebration of her life and some fun community merriment.

This is so Silas...

As I kneeled to get the cake out of the oven I am reminded of my recent "thorn in the flesh." 

My mortal body aching with over use. 

By Friday my fists were clinched so tight at God I couldn't concentrate on much at all. 

Wasn't it I who spoke the words, "Hold loosely to the things of this world" to those girls who were hungry for truth just a few weeks ago?

Wasn't it I who walked into freedom by the mighty power and favor of God last year?

Wasn't it I who loved to worshiped and thank the Lord with movement and exercise? 

So when did it become something I couldn't let go of? 

When did I start saying no to God telling me to rest?

When did I stop trusting his Heart toward my good? 

When did I think I knew better than The One who made this body? 

When have His commands ever made logically sense in the eyes of the world? 

Hasn't the walk with HIM proven I must listen closely, knee and ear bent?

So it came to this....

rest and be healed

Faithfully He spoke words that bring life and peace. 
Straight out of Joshua as I was reading through the Bible. 
And still I held on, refusing to trust.
Till the words came from my own mouth to a trusted friend, "I can't let it go."

"That's the thing about idols," he said, "they can be good things. It's when we trust them before God that they become dangerous."
I feared. I tried desperately to control the situation. 

Then the tears come at acknowledging truth, I had told God no. He said rest, I said no thank you. (I WAS polite, but I still said no)

Isn't it I who pray that my kids would never tell God no? 

So on bended knee with the tears falling, repentance comes. 
And the trials of this life become blessings in disguise. 

I want to trust, I really do. I want to always say yes to Him the first time.
But I am being sanctified, and I still live on the mortal side of eternity, I still mess up. 

exodus 20
 1 And God spoke all these words:
 2 “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt,
out of the land of slavery.
 3 “You shall have no other gods before[a] me.
 4 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God

The tears still come easily and each day I try to sit in faith, trusting God and doctors in resting. 

worshiping sitting down (for now)

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