Friday, August 6, 2010

The Story of Us: the ring of fire part 2

The taste of love is sweet. 
When hearts, like ours meet. 
I fell for you like a child. 
Oh but the fire went wild. 
Thank you Johnny Cash, the philosopher. I couldn’t have said it better myself!
I was aware of Johnny’s “ ring of fire” and knew if I jumped in I wouldn’t come out unburned. It was enough to keep me saying no.

 I needed to tell my parents. I hadn’t gotten up the nerve to do it. To this day I wonder what they thought? I know they were young once, too, but it’s all together different when it’s your 17 year old daughter talking to you on a couch in Red River, NM about getting married.
He had knelt beside the couch I was sleeping on. With the all very familiar scope breath he’d prayed for me as he’d done a thousand times before since the day I was born. 
“Ummm, Cody and I really like each other and have kinda talked about getting married...”
Just like I assumed he’d do, he remained calm, collected his thoughts and responded, “ Well, (pause)  Cody is a wonderful young man. I always hoped one of my sons would become a preacher, I guess a son in law would be just fine.” 
And I really don’t remember the rest of the conversation. He prayed we'd know and follow God's will for our relationship. 
He knew. They knew. So they both knew he wasn’t going anywhere. And they hadn’t told me to wait, given me any warnings or even looked concerned. I needed a sign. A stop sign if this was not good. My parents were always ones to let you make your own mistakes. I am a people pleaser and don't like to make mistakes. I never wanted to regret. So I weighed every decision a thousand times. It's exhausting.
Maybe Cody's family would give me a sign...His Aunt Vivian (the great gardener and cooker of rabbit) had been in the family for years and she didn't pull me aside telling me to run for my life. But I prayed everyday if this wasn't meant to be that I'd know and have the courage to do the right thing even if my heart was in too deep.

I got a good sign from Cody when I got back. We went the entire vacation week without talking on the phone. No cell phones- calling cards were what I had to use. He was playing volleyball at the Wilkins home so I went over there to join the group and of course see him. When he saw me he said, "Time Out" ran over in Deever fashion grabbed me up, kissed me and ran back to position on the court. Smile. I think he likes me. Maybe he wants to keep me.

August meant back to school in Oklahoma.   
Cody and I had never been together a whole lot. He split his time between school and work and me. Now we were working together at the youth center with all those kids and going to school together.  We were about to spend a lot more time together. 
One of two things was bound to happen. One, we’d get tired of each other and realize this wasn’t gonna work or two, the flame’d get hotter.

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